And what have I done?
Nothing. Honestly, I have accomplished nothing this year. I have spent the entirety of it sitting around doing nothing. When someone asks me what I do I respond with "I am a man of leisure", but really I am a bum. A bludger. A waste of space.
Yes, that is how I feel. Maybe it's because of Christmas and New Years (probably), but I feel more depressed than ever. I feel alone and sad. The last two days I have left the seclusion of my room only on those very rare occasions that I need sustenance or need to use the bathroom. That in itself is depressing enough, but now I have started to have those very bad thoughts that I had thought I had banished for good from my consciousness. I won't tell you what they are, some close friends probably already know, but they are not nice and I don't like it, so when I realized what I was thinking I sat down to write this blog and hopefully get it all out.
So, what am I going to do about it? Well, for starters I am going to go out tomorrow, hopefully early in the day to get myself going. If not, I'll go see some friends at a church in the evening. I'd like to do both though.
That one act in itself is not going to be enough though. I don't want to make a New Years resolution because I know I won't keep it, as I haven't kept any I have made before. Instead, I am going to make daily and weekly resolutions. Hopefully then I can do better at achieving them, and if I don't it wont take me nine months to realize I haven't and then give up because it's too late.
So my daily resolution for tomorrow - get out of the apartment.
Let's see how far I get...
... and yes I know this has been a much longer blog. As a side bar, I feel these blogs are more for me than others (as I am sure no one is reading them). Prove me wrong.
